The home is beautiful. It's right near the ocean. It's a dream for so many families to live there. It has over 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and it's spacious, with high ceilings. It is filled with modern furniture and expensive artwork. Everyone who drives by it takes photos of it with their phones.
Then, a storm blew through and the house was completely wiped away. Everything was destroyed in a blink of an eye. Why?
The foundation wasn't built the right way...Because of this, it couldn't withstand the pressure that came when disaster struck. A home's structural integrity is dependent upon the types of materials that are used to build it. In the same way, we need to be careful when choosing what material we use to build our relationships.
So many marriages end tragically in divorce. One main reason this happens is because the foundation of the relationship was not solid and firm. It was either based on sex or an emotional high. Once that fades, the couple soon realizes that they have nothing else to fall back on when times get a little hard. It's amazing that God's word claims that if we build our foundation with Jesus, we will never, ever be fully torn a part.
Take a look at Matthew 7:24-25
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
And look at this one in Proverbs 12:7
Wicked men are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous stands firm.
Ron and I have only been married a short amount of time but we have seen this come true over and over again. Through every disagreement, through every fight, through every major trial... We are never fully hopeless and we are never fully beyond repair. We know that we both love Christ and at the end of the day, even if our flesh may hate each other, we fall back on the King and His words. When God is your foundation, it means that you resort to His truth when all is said and done. Even in the midst of our flesh's anger, we wind up cultivating humility, submission, and serving one another. It results in us mimicking the relationship that God the Father has with Jesus.
The world teaches us that we should run after whatever makes us happy. Because this is emphasized so much, our culture shuts down and runs away whenever something doesn't go their way. It's not through independence or control that we gain freedom. It's through our radical obedience to God where we find true and lasting joy. Healthy relationships aren't selfish relationships.
The Bible tells us that we must seek healthy relationships, because they are extremely important. In Matthew 22:36, Jesus tells us "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” It's important that we love God and love others in the right way. We must learn to love God first, then we will have the capacity to love our family, friends, and partners well. Our foundation should be rooted in God and His truth. This is the only way that we can stand strong when storms come our way.
So how do you start off your relationship the right way?
1. Fight for purity: Do not allow temptation to rule our relationship. Take time to be focused on the character and inner qualities of one another. Know who you are dating or going to marry on a personal and authentic level. Physical attraction is great but do not let it distract you from what is most important.
2. Continually play worship music and read scripture together: Playing worship music is a great way to stay grounded in truth. You can sing together in the car or have a worship night together. Take the time to read scripture together and help each other grow in your understanding of the Word. These are the truths you will come back to when times are hard.
3. Surround yourself with mentors: Find people who can mentor you in God's Word and your relationship with Him. Do not assume you know everything, seek wisdom.
4. Be committed to mutual surrender: Do not hold too tightly to your dating relationship, allow God to guide both of you in the right direction and be willing to take the steps that God calls you to. Be committed to working through the tough times together and remember that the other person is first, a child of God.
Don't allow yourselves to be distracted by the perfect looking relationship, because it is the real, authentic, and God centered relationship that will last.