Since the fall, pride has been something that has plagued humanity. Most of us have all had an experience with it at some point in our lifetime.
Some people may struggle with it more than others though. It can be hard to detect this sin but it will silently destroy relationships, ones confidence, and the ability to have true joy, if it isn’t identified and worked on. It’s like a disease and we have to make an appointment with the Great Physician in order to be healed.
Personally, pride is my biggest downfall. I can blame it on many things, but the fact of the matter is, I’ve been infected with it. It comes out the most when I find myself struggling with insecurity. When I don’t feel good enough, these automatic walls start to form quickly around my heart that make my responses cold and reconciliation impossible. If those walls are not torn down right away, then it just gets worse. I am tempted to bring other people down with me just to feel better about my own struggles. I begin to put unrealistic expectations on people that I care about because I want them to fill the void that pride causes, even though only the Lord can.
Sounds pretty messy, huh? That’s cause it is. Pride doesn’t just come as entitlement, but as anger, fear, and straight up ugliness. I can’t even explain the amount of embarrassment that I carry after pride wins a battle.
I cry, feel so much regret, and apologize for a week straight. As a woman who desires so badly to be lead by the Holy Spirit and to be an influence for other young girls, it’s so humbling to know that I can be so easily defeated. It’s also a great reminder of how desperately I need Christ every moment of every day.
It doesn’t matter how many books I read or how many prayers I pray. What matters is that in the moment, when I find myself at a crossroads between selflessness and pride, I choose the right path. Knowledge and even a determined spirit doesn’t make a difference. What matters is how much self control I have. It’s beating my body into submission. I must fight my intense eye roll, my sarcastic comments, and my crossed arms, and instead, I must say sorry, be a peacemaker, and look for ways to be kind.
I find that the strategy that helps me the most when pride starts to creep up on me is immediately confessing it. I tell the person I am around that I’m really starting to struggle, that I need a second to pray it away, and that the conversation should probably continue later on. Usually, that person is my significant other and I’m blessed enough that he comes along side me, understands, and joins with me in prayer.
If you are at a war with pride, you’re not alone. It’s a hard fight and a lot of the times I lose- but I take hope in knowing that once Christ starts a work in someone, He is faithful enough to complete it. I also take comfort in the fact that God will never put light on a situation that He isn’t willing to heal. If you’re not sure if you struggle with this sin, here are some ways to know…
You’re hungry for attention
You’re easily offended
You are very negative and fault finding
You are overly sensitive to a fault
You find it very hard to say sorry
If this is you, don’t be discouraged. Once you acknowledge that you have this annoying sickness, you are able to fight it with the glorious Gospel of Jesus. Continually repent and believe that you will eventually live in complete and full freedom. God will be your guide through this and He will bring you out on the other side!