I guess that's really the only way that can describe how I feel.
You see... I’m from Puerto Rico so watching my people represented was the most incredible feeling. My first talent show ever in first grade was to the song Jenny From The Block... The first music video I was obsessed with was Shakira’s. They are my people. I would be lying if I said I didn't have an overwhelming sense of pride knowing that they were going to take the stage on Super Bowl night.
I didn’t watch the game at all- but I had asked my husband to call me in when the half time show began. I had tears in my eyes because I was so excited to see them. I hopped on the couch next to my husband, I started rocking back and fourth, and clapping my hands before they were even seen on stage.
And then they came out.
They were incredible. My jaw dropped. Every move was flawless. They looked so strong and fierce. The entirety of the performance was absolutely phenomenal. I felt so thrilled to be Latina- but afterwards, I felt a little sick too...
As Spanish women, we try hard to change the stereotype. We are respectable women. We are not sex objects. We make this country better. Etc.
But this performance may have set us back a little. The crotch grabbing, booty shaking, pole dancing... It may have just been a little too much.
And I'm not even saying that it was. Again, this is me processing through this performance that I was looking forward to since it was announced. I just really don't know how to feel.
My girls are icons- strong, beautiful, capable...But I get everybody’s hesitation and debate on whether or not they should love the performance. I wanted my culture to be represented and it was- but I’m not sure we were represented in the best possible way.
My flesh adored this half time show. I'm in no way annoyed, petty, or bitter because I'm jealous or envious of them. For a forty and fifty year old, they blow my mind. Hey, at any age, they blow my mind. Plus, the significant meanings that were packed into that show were unreal. I can’t explain the condition of my heart as JLo raised our flag. I was moved.
My spirit, on the other hand, was pretty convicted. Especially when my husband gasped and looked at his phone the entire time.
I was forced to ask myself this question...
Would Jesus have watched that? Probably not.
Was I dancing and smiling non stop during the whole thing? I was.
It really just comes down to this... I want to hate what God hates and love what He loves. I want my heart to align with His. And if I’m honest, sometimes it just doesn’t.
I guess this post is to say... it’s okay to be confused over the Super Bowl Halftime show.
It's okay to be split in half.
It's okay to feel the tension and war between your flesh and your spirit.
A part of you can be excited, and another part of you can mourn.
What I wanted most out of this performance was for young Hispanic girls to look at them and say “Wow- I can do absolutely anything!” - I’m afraid that they may be saying “Wow- I can do absolutely anything if I take my clothes off!” And if that's the case, that just shatters me.
I’m all about women empowerment. I’m all about even being sexy. Nothing is wrong with that. But... this is just a really hard one for me to wrap my head around. And I'm just being super open and honest about this struggle.
As Christians, we gotta stand up for what we believe in. Even if we are ridiculed for it. We gotta take everything we see captive. We have to remember that we are just passing through here. We gotta remember that souls are on the line.
Do you have any thoughts on the performance? Click on the photo below and comment on my post! I'd love to hear it!