When That Date Just Didn't Go As Planned

I know the feeling. You have been crushing on this one guy, he finally asks you out, and it went horribly. You said something awkward, he said something off putting, and you just are trying to figure out what his mixed signals mean. In your head beforehand, the date went perfectly... but reality didn't match up to that fantasy. Now he hasn't followed up or texted you for round two... What do you do now?

Crushing hard on someone can take an emotional toll on anybody. Especially when you're pretty positive that it won't go anywhere. So how do you get over the guy that you have no potential with yet still want? How are you supposed to safe guard your mind when those sneaky little thoughts come in and remind you that the date could have gone better?

When I was in college, I had a major crush on this guy. He played sports, a lot of girls liked him, and he also loved God. I never acted on it, but I'd always secretly hope that he'd notice me. One day after a class we had together, he asked me out for coffee and I was pumped. I spent hours getting ready and when I showed up to the little cafe, my heart was racing.

I am a very outgoing person, so I wasn't awkward. Yet, the conversation was so dull. He dodged all of my deep questions and just wanted to talk about surface level things. Oh, and he basically just talked about himself the entire time. After our date, I wanted so badly to work on changing him cause I still had a crush on him. But I knew deep down that there just wasn't a connection.

These are some of the things, I personally did, to help me get over him. Even though I still saw him all of the time and there was tension between us because of the weird date we had.

I Unfollowed Him On Social Media: Stop stalking your crush's every single move through social media. Enough of that. If you keep watching his stories and stalking his posts, you are just feeding your heart and emotions ,which cause your feelings to grow rather than dissipate. And let me mention... the feelings aren't even authentic caring feelings. They are just an emotional high.

Cut Him Out Of Your Conversations: If you and your girls sit around and giggle and talk about this guy so much, you are never (and I mean NEVER) going to let this thing go… the chatter has to simmer down in order for the feelings to come to an end. Stop asking them if they have seen him and what he has been up to. It's over. Move on.

Stop Watching Romantic Movies For A Season: Ladies, this is such a stumbling block for us. Romantic movies elevate the way we feel relationships should look, and they skew the way we think people should just randomly “fall in love.” What you fuel your mind with is usually how you will begin to act and what you will believe. Romantic movies will make you romanticize situations that are actually very unhealthy for you. Until your heart can handle them again, stop watching them.

Journal + Process: If you keep a journal, you should write down your thoughts and feelings toward the guy. I wrote my crush a letter that I never gave to him and called him a lot of names. Then at the end of the letter, I brought it before the Lord and told him to rid me of my feelings for him. Then I tossed the letter. It symbolizes your determination for getting over him!

Change Up Your Routine: If you see this guy a lot, like I saw the guy I liked a lot, I am not suggesting you totally switch your entire life around to avoid this guy, but you can make minor changes to ensure that you don’t see him quite as frequently as you currently are. Out of sight, out of mind. It actually works.

Stop Making Up Scenarios: I literally would plan weddings with my crushes (anyone else?) You have to stop! Yes, it can be so fun to think about your color scheme, the first dance, the dress, the venue, the future babies… but nope. It can’t happen. If you want to get over him, you have to be willing to truly let go. You are the one who has all the control over your mind in the end. Every time he pops into your brain, say out loud "God I give this to you" and think about something else.

Turn to God: This one should be obvious, but I feel like in moments such as these, we put God on the back burner. We want to play His part. That needs to change. Bring God front and center and turn to Him. Nothing is too small for Him to handle. He knows exactly who we should be with. Have the Lord fill your heart and direct your focus on Him. Also, when you keep asking God to be with you through this, He will begin to satisfy your desires more than any boy could anyway.

Hopefully, these things that I did can help encourage you to be able to do the same thing with your crush. It won't be easy or happen in the blink of an eye, but it will work and it will give you freedom in the end. And remember... you do not need a boy to validate you. You are already loved and validated by God, so it is okay to step aside and let thoughts and affections for your crush to pass you by. Because friend, it's SO possible to get over him.

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© 2020 by Jonni Nicole Parsons